- In the beginning God commanded mankind to be fruitful and multiply so he could exercise dominion over the earth. This commandment was given with the assumption that a man and woman should be united in marriage according to Genesis 2:23-25. One of the best ways to serve God is to have children (naturally or through adoption) in marriage so the couple can raise up a godly heritage for the Lord. 1 Timothy 2 even verifies that if a wife raises children in the faith, it is a sure sign of her salvation.
- Married couples tend to be less selfish than singles. They have to think about how best to serve their mate and this often takes their focus away from themselves which helps them understand God’s unconditional love better than singles. Single people who have never been married and have no children are often preoccupied with how to please themselves or are busy trying to find a mate. Most of the time, they don’t have someone around 24/7 whose needs they have to look after.
- Marriage is a living example of the relationship between Christ and his church, according to Ephesians 5:31-33. In a Christian marriage where the man loves the woman as himself and she reverences her husband, they know what it means to sacrifice oneself for the sake of their spouse just like Jesus sacrificed himself for the sake of his church.
- Single people are more prone to fornicate. Because they are so preoccupied with themselves and have no accountability, they tend to read the Bible less which makes them more susceptible to have sex outside of marriage since sex is being advertised everywhere. Their sexual urges then have a way of getting out of control and they give in to their urges by having uncommitted sex partners. Married Christians are accountable to their spouses, are pressured in a positive way by their spouses to spend time with God and minister to others for the Lord, and have a committed partner to fulfill their sexual desires.
- Married Christians are more reliable than singles to be available when the church doors are open. Since they are used to following a set schedule and know that they have to be at a certain place at a specific time, they are more familiar with time commitments. Singles, outside of their work schedules, have a tendency to do their own thing on their own time without a set schedule.
I could go on, but I think I’ve listed enough at this point. BTW, if you think I believe any of the stuff I listed above–I had you fooled! The truth is, these are some of the mindsets that have been promoted in churches for years by married couples from the pastors on down and is a source of division in some churches. There may be some singles in the church who fit the profile, but many don’t. But there are also married people who do the things that the singles are accused of. I have heard plenty of single Christians complain about how they are looked down on as being inferior in the church.
Some pastors won’t allow singles to be ministry leaders based on 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 where it says leaders must be the husband of one wife, yet overlooking the fact that Jesus, Paul, and other apostles were single. I have even seen how some married couples will avoid socializing with singles unless there is a crowd because they fear that the single person of the opposite sex will seduce their spouse and the single person of the same sex (especially men) will be a bad influence on their mate. The truth is, there are many singles in the church who look for opportunities to reach out to others with the genuine selfless love of the Lord and desire to contribute the use of their spiritual gifts for the church’s benefit, but are held back by the prejudices of married Christians. This not only hurts the church, but can greatly discourage the single believer.
The bottom line is that we need to exercise the love that God commands us to in the Bible. When we have to deal with worldly people everyday and their evil ways, the church should be the one place that a Christian–single or married–should be greeted with a holy kiss of acceptance and have the freedom to serve in whatever capacity God is leading them to.
–posted by Harry A. Gaylord–