Married Christians serve God better than single Christians

Wedding ringsHere are a few reasons why married people in the church tend to be more spiritual than those who are single:

  1. In the beginning God commanded mankind to be fruitful and multiply so he could exercise dominion over the earth.  This commandment was given with the assumption that a man and woman should be united in marriage according to Genesis 2:23-25.  One of the best ways to serve God is to have children (naturally or through adoption) in marriage so the couple can raise up a godly heritage for the Lord.  1 Timothy 2 even verifies that if a wife raises children in the faith, it is a sure sign of her salvation.
  2.  Married couples tend to be less selfish than singles.  They have to think about how best to serve their mate and this often takes their focus away from themselves which helps them understand God’s unconditional love better than singles.  Single people who have never been married and have no children are often preoccupied with how to please themselves or are busy trying to find a mate.  Most of the time, they don’t have someone around 24/7 whose needs they have to look after.
  3. Marriage is a living example of the relationship between Christ and his church, according to Ephesians 5:31-33.  In a Christian marriage where the man loves the woman as himself and she reverences her husband, they know what it means to sacrifice oneself for the sake of their spouse just like Jesus sacrificed himself for the sake of his church.
  4. Single people are more prone to fornicate.  Because they are so preoccupied with themselves and have no accountability, they tend to read the Bible less which makes them more susceptible to have sex outside of marriage since sex is being advertised everywhere.  Their sexual urges then have a way of getting out of control and they give in to their urges by having uncommitted sex partners.  Married Christians are accountable to their spouses, are pressured in a positive way by their spouses to spend time with God and minister to others for the Lord, and have a committed partner to fulfill their sexual desires.
  5. Married Christians are more reliable than singles to be available when the church doors are open.  Since they are used to following a set schedule and know that they have to be at a certain place at a specific time, they are more familiar with time commitments.  Singles, outside of their work schedules, have a tendency to do their own thing on their own time without a set schedule.

I could go on, but I think I’ve listed enough at this point.  BTW, if you think I believe any of the stuff I listed above–I had you fooled!  The truth is, these are some of the mindsets that have been promoted in churches for years by married couples from the pastors on down and is a source of division in some churches.  There may be some singles in the church who fit the profile, but many don’t.  But there are also married people who do the things that the singles are accused of.  I have heard plenty of single Christians complain about how they are looked down on as being inferior in the church.

Some pastors won’t allow singles to be ministry leaders based on 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 where it says leaders must be the husband of one wife, yet overlooking the fact that Jesus, Paul, and other apostles were single.  I have even seen how some married couples will avoid socializing with singles unless there is a crowd because they fear that the single person of the opposite sex will seduce their spouse and the single person of the same sex (especially men) will be a bad influence on their mate.  The truth is, there are many singles in the church who look for opportunities to reach out to others with the genuine selfless love of the Lord and desire to contribute the use of their spiritual gifts for the church’s benefit, but are held back by the prejudices of married Christians.  This not only hurts the church, but can greatly discourage the single believer.

The bottom line is that we need to exercise the love that God commands us to in the Bible.  When we have to deal with worldly people everyday and their evil ways, the church should be the one place that a Christian–single or married–should be greeted with a holy kiss of acceptance and have the freedom to serve in whatever capacity God is leading them to.

–posted by Harry A. Gaylord–


17 thoughts on “Married Christians serve God better than single Christians

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  1. Hello ! I am a single mom whose kids are grown. I have plenty of time to contribute to helping others and I read my Bible every day. I have more time to share than married people with young or growing children. The bible also says that a married women seeks to please her husband, but the single women seeks to serve the Lord.

    Unfortunately, the church does give preference to married couples for everything. Someone like me is not considered ministry material because I have “lost” my spouse. I am somehow incomplete and do not qualify, except to wash dishes, hand out dough nuts and coffee, and vacuum the floor. I have nothing spiritual to offer. Also, older singles are not accepted socially, so it is a lonely road. I therefore minister outside the church, since there is no place for me in it. Maybe someday, this will change, and people will realize that marital status has nothing to do with the call that is on one’s life.

    I think the time commitment is different for each person, whether they are married, with kids, or not. Busy is busy. Free is free.



    1. oh I see, but why do that? Ok, desired effect. The day I declared myself a Kingdom Eunuch… was the day I felt free to serve as I was gifted.


  2. Thank you, Marianne. You have spoken from so much of my experiences as a mature Christian single member of a congregation. Although I feel loved at church, I do at times, feel that church is a place centered around the husband/wife relationship–perhaps unintentionally–but nevertheless without much thought to how it makes singles(older & younger) feel as if they are incomplete. And you are right anyway, we must go outside the body of Christ to minister. So it does not matter what we are in, but what is in us. GOD bless!


    1. Reason single ladies are looked down by married women. That is because the church has a way of coaching there members of different status. I know because I have seen it done in many churches. Most churches teach that a single parent is in the single parent situation because they disobeyed God. And that single parents struggle because of their single status. That is reason so many married couples reaches out to single parents in the church as well. There is no Bible that teaches how the church should treat people of different status, married, single, divorce, children, etc., We are all part of the body of Christ and should all be treated the same.


  3. Ok having kids isn’t serving God ! Thats a lie or a really foolish opinion
    Many couples can’t have kids or afford adoption
    So they arent serving God according to this premise


  4. The Bible doesn’t say that which this article is saying, it actually says the opposite. Here’s what the Bible says about serving God, married or single. Read for your self do not let someone else mislead you. That is teaching false doctrine against what the Bible truly says. It’s like calling God a Liar; it’s the trick of the enemy (Satan). Although, marriage is not wrong, the idea of twisting scripture is wrong it is the trick of the Devil (deception).
    1 Corinthians 7:32-35 ESV / 408 helpful votes
    I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
    HelpfulNot Helpful
    1 Corinthians 7:8 ESV / 271 helpful votes
    To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.


    1. dvanilla,

      You didn’t take the time to read my whole article. The first half of the article was about some of the false ideas married Christians have toward their single spiritual siblings. I then went on to say that I did not hold to those ideas. I was being sarcastic or ironic and then gave examples of why singles should be welcomed and included in ministry. But thanks for sharing the scriptures.


  5. What a total misrepresentation of the truth!! Blessings are on both sides, yet even more special blessings promised to the single person who gives themselves to His kingdom service..foregoing marriage. I am only now, at 56, embracing the gift given to me after a failed marriage, yet producing 2 sons. i even know i had it before marrying…but let the pressure to be like most, overule instead. You should be rebuked.


  6. Thank you so much for this article. For those who are angry, reading is fundamental. I am teaching a class on Manifesting Singleness through Serving. I appreciate your presentation of false doctrine/teaching versus Biblical teaching.


  7. I like being married and had wanted to for many years- found my love of my life at the late age of 41, a pastor as luck would have it, but I live in a small town- less than 1000 people, and just didn’t quite get the respect of many until I got married. And I was raised by a single Mom in a large town- (50,000 pop) and she would always tell me, “You will always be known as Mrs. Doctor___ or Mrs, Lawyer_____, you will never be respected for yourself, and I found this strange for so long, but after I got married I found she was right (once again). I didn’t think I was any different. If I was smart when I was single, why was it only noticed after i was married? If I was competent in my job when I was single, why was i only acknowledged after I married a Pastor? And this wasn’t just church community, this was the whole community. In fact, I bought my land in the small town with my own money I had earned with plenty of hard work. At age 20 and moved there at age 26. I never seemed to get credit for what I did.
    So it seems it’s a cultural bias, not just a church bias.


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